This weekend a conversation came up about threesomes…
I can’t begin to say it enough, I really don’t get the fascination with this topic or the idea of having one.
Why am I writing about this then?
Mainly to espouse my strong belief in how problematic the ‘threesome’ could be to your relationship.
At first I wondered was it strictly a guy thing, or a single guy thing.
But there seem to be a lot of women and couples (hetero/homosexual) that are into it.
My stance: Why invite problems into your relationship?
Some bloggers and couples have stated that the threesome could actually fix or add spice to your relationship. The adding spice is my favorite reason to ‘tear’ apart.
I would say if your relationship needs spice, watching someone with your girl/guy will not add spice. At least not the kind you intend. It might add the ‘spice’ that shows up on an episode of SNAPPED, #justsaying.
Also, the thought of using a threesome to ‘fix’ your relationship is flawed in my opinion.
If there are problems, chances are you need to work at them with your partner first. The threesome would seem to be a destructive distraction or the potentially final breaking point.
I believe there are only three instances where a threesome could co-exist with happiness: if your single, not in love with any of the parties involved or under the age of 28.
What do you think? I really like to know.
I’ve been called conservative, prudish and judgemental. I really want to understand what the big deal is with this ‘threesome’ fascination.
All debates welcome!
That’s it for Wednesday!
Goodnight – Sontaia
SHELOVESHER..and other thoughts on loving women 
I must say, that the allure, the mystic of a 3 some is interesting… IN THEORY. In movies, books and even in imagination I think it could work out great. Hot bodies, sweating, pulsating, with one goal of making each other feel good, get off, feel something- sounds hot.. Mingled breath, arched backs, smooth brown thighs, hips and breasts all for your sampling… Mmmmm, yummy. HOWEVER, back to reality. It doesn’t work that way in real life. If your relationship is shitty, it’ll just become shittier. All kinds of emotions can and most likely will come out of the woodwork… Most of them not good. Someone I think, winds up feeling left out. Lost and dejected… I mean I think you have a point, you gotta be single or under that pivotal age of 28… I guess it’s possible for a threesome to work out, just not probable..
Ciao..
Miss t, if you think it dream it and build it IT will come. So to speak. I’m surprised how much like Tay u sound.
@ Sista T,
Oh, umm…Ok I’ll admit you had me caught up for the first five to six lines. But, I am in total agreement. I think a fantasy is better than reality with this scenario!
First of all it is a bit arrogant and presumptuous to assume that all threesome relationship dont work out. That is not true. And how can you comment so negatively on a life style choice unless you have had the experience of said lifestyle. I caution against this type of…well, ignorance. Three or more can have a lovely, healthy, and inspired relationship if they work at the basic tenets that all relationships must work, honesty, compatibility and kindness. It is so easy to put down and judge lifestyles one doesn’t understand or participate in. Isn’t that what folks are doing to the gays? Hmmm???
As always Bradshaw, I appreciate your spirited commentary! I’d say beginning a statement with FIRST OF ALL, is the epitome of arrogance, #justsaying.
True, one shouldn’t be judgmental and I’m not, you just happen to not like my position in the conversation, understood. I do congratulate all the healthy, and well balance threesome experiences out there and I don’t mean to denigrate. I’m simply saying, don’t understand the fascination. Furthermore (now I’m being arrogant), to minimize the LGBTQI experience by comparing it to a sexual proclivity that you choose and are not ‘born’, i.e. no one is born destined to live their lives in a threesome..your smart you get my point.
Boy oh boy! Look at those opinions go! Looks like there’s room for mine too. I have been in a threesome, or two, when I was younger and not so younger. It was fun when younger, and when I was not so younger it was only fun for the pleasurable moment. Emotions got involved. Not mine of course. Also had a poly amorous fling too. Fun in that I was the third and didn’t have to do a lot of relationship work. One day I decided I wanted more. Not from either of them, but just for myself.
And then I “let” an ex partner sleep with someone, just for fun, ya know. We were committed. Solid. She almost immediately became an ex-partner. I was dazed and confused for years after.
So my experienced opinion, for how I’ll conduct my own life anyway, is to leave all that alone.
And here’s where some may get mad, but I’ve run across tons of folks insisting on this way of life and for real, many (including my “somewhat” old self have underlying issues abt relationships, self-worth, and other maladaptive ways of seeing the world that contributes to the idea of this working for them for whatever their “said” reasons.
Every relationship is different and needs a caretakig catered to the two people involved. The world is evolving and our relationships must evolve too. I heard an old couple say they dont throw out a troubled relationship they fix it. In our world it is way too easy to divorce, destroying families and lives as opposed to finding a way that works and if a particular method doesnt work then letting it go and trying something else. That’s all I’m gonna say about this topic. Opinions and ass holes and all…
@ E, sigh…..
@ Donniee, thank you for sharing. You have given me much to think about. Especially the last part about the underlying self-worth or relationships issues..
@ E. no none is judging… It’s an opinion. It’s not that deep. I think Tay was apeaking of a 3 some, not a long term 3 way relationship.
But to respond, you say “we” can’t talk against it unless “we’ve” walked in those shoes- so to speak. Well, can you speak FOR it if you haven’t actually been in one..? Mmmmm??
T…since your curious and are intent on assuming I will engage. Though I did say I was done. My experience with threesomes is just that experience, I have no need to get into the details. Suffice it to say that I don’t speak from ignorance as some on here have.
Don’t make up things E.. Tisk tisk! When have you had a 3 some relationship? Not an experience.
@ E, I’m going to bite for the moment.
To keep using the word ignorance is umm, ignorant. Disagreeing with someone is not ignorance. Do you believe the only way a person can determine if something is right for them, is from trying it? Because I’m 100% sure I’m not interested in Bestiality but based on your argument, should I try it to have an opinion about it? But I guess that’s ignorance also and we should add this to the list of relationship expansion techniques suggested? Since relationships are evolving and such and so should we??
Oh dear my young friend. I merely state and hold stock in harsh opinions of damnation about topics one has no first hand experience with. Judge not lest ur be judged. Choose what works for you and don’t negatively comment on other choices, you never really know whom that may be. And that is what I deem IGNO RANT!
However, since you are so verbally cute and your pathos entertaining I will blunt my swordlike tongue and profer more comely words. Words best suited to less complex palates.
An T… How darest thou, how darest?
😉 all around.
Your still missing the point, perhaps it’s the rigidity that comes with age or its voluntary, perhaps it’s ignorance..as they say on TV: All characters are welcome here : )
Oh Dear! I’m at my dinner table scrolling like a maniac. Haven’t seen such discourse in quite a while….
@ D, i know, i love it!
Muah!
I think that Threesomes are the determent of relationship because in that equation one person ends up liking the other too much no matter how many rules you have. So for safety or to keep your relationship in tact so doesn’t go searching for home wreckers to bring to the equation….. If you think you need the spice maybe it’s a telltale sign to break it of or take a break or consider an open relationship cause it’s going to go in that direction in the long run if you partake in a threesome. #AMJUSTSAYIN!
@Glitterhottie, of course if you read the above I agree with you. But the most important thing you pointed out in my opinion..is the reason..one would be trying to ‘spice’ fix’ whatever..#examinethat
I think that the media has always potrayed threesomes as Ah-mazing! It has always been something that seems to benefit men more but in the lesbian/queer community, poly relationships are taking off, so now, it is more of a relationship! Honestly….one is enough for me. But too each his/her own.
@lovingher, Agreed, whatever makes a person happy and you have the right to pursue this happiness. I’m lazy, one is more than enough 🙂