Dairy moment – The Cycles of LOVE

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This idea came to me about three weeks ago right before the New Year. I was a having a another conversation about relationships, love and other chow-chow bullshit as my BF likes to refer to it.

The ‘it’ you ask, is the constantly revolving, recycling, never-ending, circular conversation about love i.e., it seems to be the only meaningful consistent conversation people over 30 talk about.

Relationships have come to define our lives.

Have I exhausted you with that intro?

That was the point.

It’s exhausting.

Talking about it, thinking about it, living it.

YES, YES, YES, YES it is meaningful for anyone ready to derive from this rant that I am ‘over’ love.

I’m not.

I love, love and being in love. Probably a little too much according to some.

What’s the point?

Sometime during this pre-apocalyptic New Year conversation, I came up with this idea.

Now I’m not saying it’s new.

Perhaps someone has thought of this and hasn’t shared it, but here it goes…the five words that sum up our entire love experience.

INTRODUCING: A love cycle if you dare to believe…

HUNGER

SATE (SATIATION)

EXCITEMENT

CONTENTMENT

BOREDOM

Over and over again.

We hunger, search and capture this love or something like it. We are satiated by this prize/person, happy even. Excitement follows this happiness, I liken it to the newness of the experience. Then we grow content, which initially feels really good. Because the hunt can be really heartbreaking, spirit draining and truly exhausting.

As we also know contentment can easily slip into boredom

This is where all the problems begin.

Arguments

Restlessness

Flirtations

Porn

More fights

Fear of losing your autonomy or sense of self (my personal favorite, not )

The list goes on and on, that we torture our partners with while we struggle through the last phase (Boredom).

Sometimes people break-up, cheat, argue and always blame the other person.

My proposal – It’s YOU. It’s ME. It’s not your partner, wife, husband, or lover.

It’s YOU. It’s your cycle repeating itself like a scratched record over and over again.

How can we avoid this cycle?

I don’t think we can.

Actually I’m sure we can’t .

We are ANIMALS first. I think it’s our carnal nature to always relive these cycles. I think these cycles are the byproduct of monogamy.

It has nothing to do with love. It’s just nature.

What to do then, once you get to BOREDOM?

Realize its temporary, a cycle. Appreciate, reflect, become more self-reflective.

Take ownership it’s your cycle and not your partner/lover.

Don’t blame, go through it.

Take ownership over it. Do Not make it your partners’ problem or blame him/her, life or anyone else.

It can also be freeing to have this self-awareness that says: ‘this is me going through my thing’, ‘it will be over once I remember its temporary’.

Not so deep or profound. Interesting? Maybe.

That’s it!

SLH

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