You Say You Want to Love, But Do You Want It Enough?
I’m nearing my mid-thirties, educated, no children, attractive. A friend, who crossed the 30s threshold a month ago, brought to my attention that I am jaded when it comes to dating.
Jaded? What size is that? Cause it surely doesn’t fit me. Halle Berry has the right to be jaded. So does Della Reese, but I? No. I’ve come to realize I’m too old for certain variations of bullsht.
Now have I set myself up to receiving heaping portions of said bullsht variations?
::deep sighs:: Yes.
UK artist Jesse Ware poignantly sings,’You say you want to love, but do you want it enough?” I guess the obvious answer is yes as evidenced by memberships to a slew of online dating sites, nights at ‘da club’, psychic and therapy appointments. The common denominator in all of this is myself; but the honest answer to Ware is no…maybe. Like so many sharing existence in this realm, I desire to experience love in its purest. Yet I realize that unrequited, jump off and in the meantime ‘love’ are wrecking balls along the journey. If I was really ready for love, I wouldn’t engage in such experiences. Maybe I feel that true love takes too long or it’s a never-find, or in this life I’m not on the Universe’s love connection roster.
On second thought, perhaps I am a tad jaded. But it’s the wounds in me telling their story and I’m steady enforcing a gag order. When friends come to me all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed speaking of their love’s newness, I speak words of frost. Not out of jealousy or envy, it’s just that I want them to protect them as their stories often wreak of crimson flags. I’ve learned that the worst “I told you so” comes from not following your intuition.
Forgive me for trying to be a sincere friend.
Now if you will excuse me, I hear my vibrator calling.
Jesse Ware ‘Devotion’ Youtube:
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