First let me define dating for you in my world. I have been in a
relationship for more than two years, we are still dating. You are dating
unless your married, in which case you are now ‘dating’ your spouse.
Why do I see it this way?
Dating is a ‘verb’ and I believe verbs keep the fires burning. Rather
‘action’ keeps you and your prospective date/partner interested and
engaged. With that being said there are levels of dating.
New, Relationship and marriage.
When dating whether it’s long-term (relationship) like me, New, or if you are Married.
You should constantly ask questions. These questions are for yourself and your date/partner.
You are constantly re-negotiating. Yes, dating and relationships are
negotiations. I once dated a woman who would always state “when the
commercial stops running, I hope your happy with what you bought.”
Initially I thought that was a little jaded, but actually find it to be true now.
We are all running some level of a commercials in our relationships.
So ask questions continuously, and constantly check-in.
Below are some questions that I’ve asked and maybe you want to try them too!
WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR OR WHAT DO I WANT?
I know, a no-brainer. The answer to this question can save you a lot of time, energy and money.
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?
I know it sounds like an interview, and it is! The role being Cast: Do I feel like being with you.. for the next month, year or lifetime. Is this my Romeo, Juliet or will you be voted out next week?
DO YOU WANT CHILDREN?
obvious?..NOT! I know a recently divorced woman after five years of marriage. She assumed he wanted kids, and he never mentioned that he didn’t!
WHAT ARE MY DEAL BREAKERS?
Deal breakers are things that you probably can’t live with, and be honest
For example, some of mine are atheism, republicans (just kidding), and a self-
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN?
Again, I am continuously surprised by what people choose to omit.
ARE YOU A WORKAHOLIC, DETACHED, NON-EMOTIVE (that’s not a real word, but I basically mean ‘lacking’ emotion 🙂
DO YOU EAT MEAT, ARE YOU A VEGAN, DO YOU HAVE FOOD ISSUES?
Seems silly right, WRONG. I’ve come to discover two things about people with food limitations, ‘picky’ with your food, is ‘picky’ in general. Or replace ‘picky’ with the word ‘selective’ if that sounds better 🙂 Nothing against vegans or people with food allergies. Just ask yourself, ‘Do I have the temperament to accommodate this person?’
I once dated a woman who didn’t drink tap water at a restaurant without asking a list of exhaustive questions about the filtration systems..Imagine all the fun we had going out to dinner! I also knew a girl who only drank Pepsi, no water, no juice, not even seltzer..that didn’t get too far either.
These are just a few things that come to mind. My point is figure out what your Dating/Relationship Deal Breakers are, and ask your questions and then ask them again!
Knowledge is power, or a good way to avoid wasting your time!