1. Mathematics The expression written below the line in a common fraction that indicates the number of parts into which one whole is divided.
2. A common trait or characteristic.
3. An average level or standard: The success of the film demonstrates the denominator of public taste.
For the purpose of this post, we are using the second definition. I woke up today at 5 am thinking about how I haven’t written to you in a few weeks. I was on vacation with my partner and it was the type of trip that was defining for our relationship. I must say that I’ve noticed trips seem to have that effect on couples.
You imagine it being this romantic fantasy and bliss, well I think you hope it will be those things. But it mostly ends up being a slower time in your relational lives where you do a lot of self-analysis and relationship reflecting. Not that these are bad things and the result doesn’t have to be either.
The most profound thing I have learned is: The COMMON DENOMINATOR is YOU. Not you as in your fault or your partner’s fault. I am not even talking about blame, fault or anything remotely negative. I’m referring to every relationship you or I have been in and the common denominator being yourself, myself understand? Meaning when things go wrong or right, you are the only constant in that moment and every moment.
A little confusing, I know. Consider when your driving down blame lane ( you know when everything is her fault or his) you are the constant. Meaning: this is the time to think deeper about yourself and your role in whatever romance, drama, tragedy, comedy or romantic-comedy your are presently participating. I chose the word participating very specifically because we tend to forget that relationships are voluntary and we are choosing one or all the above. Again back to that very same point, YOU, ME, and I AM the common denominator.
What does this mean? Simply we have to always look at ourselves longer, first and last.
What is your role: past, present and future? How have you defined or shaped your relational experience?
What part have you played in your movie?
Not to say that love and the relationship(s) we experience are movies because we can’t write the characters i.e., our partners no matter how much we may want to 🙂
The character in your life is complete.
The bigger question remains what drives your character? What inspires your character?
And yes, this next sentence will seem a little selfish but, YOU are the most important person in your story.
-Not to say that you’re all that matters, but YOU are the only factor that can be controlled or manipulated. Your outcomes or actions are the only ones that can be altered by your choosing.
You have to spend 90% of your time defining your role, building your character up, and keep the character in place when you step out-of-bounds. So, I end it where I began YOU and I are the common denominators.
If you have a questions about your past or present experience that need answers? If you are repeating the same patterns?
Ciao..and remember 4 more days of SHE LOVES HER THIS WEEK!