I woke up this morning, with no idea what to write today for SHE LOVES HER. The only thoughts floating through my mind was the song White Lines, by Grand Master Flash which has been stuck in my head since Monday. (see video at the end).
Why this song is in my subconscious I couldn’t tell you!
But it started me to thinking about white lies. Actually a little white lie story, I will share with you that was recently shared with me.
The other day my friend K and I were in a discussion about a potential white lie that her boyfriend told her.
So for the record let’s define white lie; — n
a minor or unimportant lie, esp one uttered in the interests of tact or politeness (according to the world english dictionary)
Now I will also note that no lie is unimportant. Also thanks to my EX, I now thoroughly understand that any lie told in politeness is:
1) not protecting the other person, but more about YOUR inability to be truthful in the moment.
2) Is done to protect YOU (the liar).
3) YOU are not doing it for them’
4) it’s all about YOU,
5) AND finally, an inherent selfish act.
Now back to the story…
Valentine’s Day had come and gone and my friend K’s boyfriend had yet to give her a card. Now before you get all excited and jump to conclusions (the couple had agreed not to exchange gifts and all the usual fuss associated with the day).
But she did give him a card and he said he indeed had one for her and needed to fill it out. So a few days went by and she jokingly mentioned her card, and that he probably didn’t get one. This actually was his out (opportunity to tell the truth) but he didn’t take it.
He replied quickly that he had her card and apologized profusely and stated he would get it to her the next time they saw each other.
Well as you have already figured out, she still hasn’t received the card to date.
While she admits that the smallest possibility exists that he forgot about the card; it’s more likely based on their history that he never actually bought it. (Note:The boyfriend is forgetful)
This has left her with a new nagging question in her mind; why lie about something so small?
Now to the meat of this post.
White lies are small, in comparison to the bigger lies i.e., ‘are you married’ and ‘did you lose the rent money in Atlantic City/Vegas‘
But they do lead to the same types of questions: why lie about something so small and what other lies have you told?
If you can’t be truthful about small uncomfortable things, then it really means you don’t trust the relationship.This is where all problems begin and potentially END.
A person that is partnered with a liar has to question everything that person does and says.
Who has the time and energy for that. It becomes a weight, and trust is diminished and eventually will break. We all know, when there is no trust, respect is next to fall and finally the love disappears.
Regaining these things are difficult if possible. People have very long memories, and troubling thoughts have a way of continuously resurfacing in your mind, like a song stuck in your head…
– Are you lying to me?
In the name of Love and Truth – P.k.