I generally think, when a person starts off the getting to know you process with “I’m really busy, blah, blah, blah“.
That’s probably not a good sign if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
My typical visceral reaction is, “then why the bleep are you on a dating site, with “looking for a relationship” as your status.
busy” and a “good” time.
Although these are your first thoughts, like most you continue. Sometimes Mr/Mrs. Unavailable has commitment issues, heartbreak issues, ISSUES, ISSUES.
All things to be carefully considered before you drink the Koolade!
Mr/Mrs. Unavailable will use the disclaimer: I’m really busy and proceed to treat you like a side act, while waiting for the big show.
You should know this, and also let’s stop treating Mr/Mrs. Unavailable like an emotional pound puppy, that we must take home. Sometimes you have to leave that puppy in the rain and snow until she/he realizes what home means.
What should you do about Mr/Mrs. Unavailable?
Remove your goodies from his/her basket. Divest yourself from the courtship, severe that tingle of the like/love’ feeling.
If it’s the beginning it will not be too hard, just keep recounting the missed connections, calls, and dates.
If you are a few months to a year in…well, there will be trouble on the horizon.
Because Mr/Mrs. Unavailable soon turns into Mr/Mrs. Self-centered a** and Mr/Mrs. Charmy/Swarmy to keep convincing you, that the sick feeling in your stomach is worth the ride in the end.
The only thing I can say is reboot and revisit the much hated “needs” conversation and don’t take no for an answer. Talk about it!
If he/she means something to you.
Finally nothing is that simple, but if you’ve been with him/her for a while, then he/she might really be invested and voicing your concerns in a non-threating way, maybe the path to some much-needed re-negotiating of the relationship.
Good Luck & Ciao