Friendships are the most important relationships we have in our lives outside normal paternal and maternal. Normal depends on your definition of normal 🙂
Our friends can do some of the craziest things, disappoint us, hurt our feelings and the door never closes on them. We forgive without question and quickly usually.
Our love for them never seems to be questioned. Of course there are moments when we pout a little longer than usual. But in the end we forgive. Even if years go by we forgive or we are willing to pick up those painful pieces and try again.
Sometimes friendships even deepen after such traumas and pains.
I am guilty of being a bad friend in sometimes, I’m not a phone person more of a text communicator. I’m also a bit of a loner and generally prefer one-on-one versus group brunch/gatherings.
My friends accept this part of me and love me for the most part. I accept them unconditionally as well.
I throw that word out there, because as far as friends go we seem to accept them without conditions, and we all know the adage bro’s before ho’s, and friends will last longer than girl/boyfriends.
Where am I going with all this?
Why is it, we don’t or can’t seem to extend this endless love and forgiveness for our partners?
Some of you may ‘hem and haw’, stating that you do. Claiming to love your partner unconditionally. But if you really think about it closely, you will realize that your partner has a much shorter rope than your friends.
People are quick to boast:
I can take it or leave it?
I can do bad by myself?
Who needs to answer to someone anyway?
And a litany of other self-effacing relationships slams.
I have wondered for years why friends get the free pass, and the person in some cases you want to spend your life with has a very short-list of allowable f-ups before you walk away.
I think right at the heart of this question is the answer that will enable us have more fulfilling, love and forgiving relationships.
We are being the best partners, lovers, wives and husbands with the limited skills we are given for relationship success, because no one has the answer. Not even the couple that has been together for 59 years.
What this couple has discovered, is the act of radical kindness, passionate forgiveness, and unyielding love in spite of our inability to be anything but flawed humans.
Let’s take a closer look at the people we love, our lives and friends.
No more Friends v. Lovers.
Treat your Lover as your dearest Friend = Happiness
A cheesy equation I know but you get the point.
Ciao – P.k.