Some friends and where relaxing, watching a little television one Saturday evening…
When someone asked where my girlfriend was, to which I replied “I don’t know.”
He looked puzzled and annoyed by my response, which I didn’t fully understand until he said
…“I hate nonchalant lesbians.”
Me: What is that?
Well what he meant, ‘he hates when women, try to be a s cavalier and as nonchalant as men’.
Yes, I used the word try intentionally.
Of course I typically no where my girlfriend is and would like to know the answer if asked…But
I would also like to achieve the height in a relationship where we don’t track each other like pets, property or other inanimate objects.
I’ll admit, I wasn’t always open to the idea of openness but, I realized the tighter the grip that faster she slips.
Remember that and repeat it to yourself if necessary.
It’s always better if it’s willing and unsolicited.
Personally, I hate the idea of being someones emotional ‘b**ch. You know the needy girlfriend. Same as the needy dater, except now your official.
But the fact of the matter is straight or same gender loving, women do a very poor job at “nonchalant” or “letting things be.”
Not cheating, but allowing the person the freedom to maintain their autonomy and sense of their own life, i.e. before you.
This is the Achilles heel in every relationship, that uncontrollable desire to control. So what he perceived as my nonchalant attitude was my choosing to be an adult. How?
By respecting my girlfriend’s free will to ‘be’ wherever she chose, without giving me updates on her movements.
Sounds crazy, well I’ve learned it’s what people want and honestly it keeps it honest.
So are you are nonchalant, or being a fool *smile* ?