Which are you?

Bad news folks, this blog won’t taste right and it may leave you a little annoyed.

We all fall into two love categories.

Needy and self-centered.

I’ll say it again NEEDY AND SELF-CENTERED. I’m no therapist, but I have enough friends and have had enough relationships to notice this particular pattern. It occurred to me one night while discussing relationships with friends. I thought perhaps it was an individual flaw, but as I begin to think about the limits on relationships and the #1 complaints. They are fall into these two parameters.


Note: I will probably offend you, but I don’t care, you need to read this. It may save your relationship life.

I have been loving women for years…Arguably the most difficult sex to love. I have noticed two trends from this. Needy and self-centered.

I caution you not to be quick to put yourself in either category. It changes depending on the love and the relationship.

Don’t think your so special that you are neither. We are one of each and both at the sometimes.

We need and we hold on to our deeply rooted needs of self-actualization, individualism, and selfishness. We preserve ourselves and feel we need to protect ourselves. We don’t trust easily and why should we? One is not worse than the other, but we need to at least acknowledge these dualities exist.

Neediness, is a an unpleasant thing, it really stinks honestly. But shamefully enough, I have been guilty and believe most are offenders at least once in your life. There is always someone who can bring that foolishness out of you. There just is.

It’s your job to acknowledge it andkill’ it. Yes, kill the neediness gene. I believe it to be the most destructive element in any relationship.

I will not admit which I am in my own relationship, to you. But I know my own truth and moment and I try to stay self-aware. Sometimes we fool ourselves into believing truths are destructive, but they actually release us from past demons.

I ask which are you: self-centered or needy? I dare you to answer..I dare you to be honest.




8 responses to “Which are you?

    • Late reply, like a year. But I realized I hadn’t responded. No people are fundamentally flawed, we are fundamentally human. Therefore imperfect and I guess even though it doesn’t sound pretty: Flawed! So yeah, guess that’s what i’m saying 🙂

  1. Heya! Nice blog… very interesting. I will comment on this post. I think we need to be both needy and self-centered in relationships. When you are in a relationship you have to need this person, and you have to be able to advocate for yourself, simultaneously (self-centeredness)! I know it’s a catch 22 of some sorts. But I’ve learned that when you don’t need someone, you will finds ways to drift apart. You start living very separate lives; You start to find your own way. Plus, everyone wants to feel a little needed. I know itt’s all PC and pro-women to say “I don’t need anyone!” But it’s not true. We are a communing species (humans) and mostly just want to be coupled up and feel needed.
    Well, thats all I gotta say about that…
    Hope to see you soon!
    Ms. T

    • That is an excellent analysis that I had not considered at all. i will admit that I was truly leaning on one side or the other. But your saying they work together and co-exist as necessities in a relationship. I like that!

      Thanks Lady T!

  2. Great insight and I totally agree, I’ve been on both sides of that fence. I do have hope that there can b reciprocity n a relationship and partners can b a healthy dose of both n a relationship!

    • MeanGene, you seem to agree with Lady T above. You both are on to something pretty good here!

      It’s seems I’ve been advised in my own blog, great I always to keep learning..lol

      Thanks MeanGene! P.S. you are probably very sweet!

  3. I think you’re looking at this a little jaded. Being needy in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s humbling (and maybe scary), because you’re exposing your inner self to another person, but I wouldn’t classify it as something that’s bad. You don’t want to kill the need to be with the person you are involved with. What would be the point of being with them? Needing to be with that person could just mean spending quality time, talking on the phone for a few minutes, or something like that just to reaffirm in your mind that this person is who you want to be with. I think what you might be referring to is the EXTREME NEED to be with that person. The clinging, jealous, paranoid personality type is what comes to mind. Then… you would have a problem.

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