Highly sought after and often never received. Sounds a little sad doesn’t it, don’t worry..I like to build things up as you read wink!

Forgiveness, I’m learning comes from within. The absolution we seek for loves’ pain and mistakes, can’t be given by another person. We have to forgive ourselves. I have know many women/men recovering from painful break-ups and divorce.

While they are healing, working through bitterness, disappointment and down-right anger. I notice that the break through happens and moment of clarity, when it truly and finally is alright, happens after you forgive yourself.

I’m also speaking from personal experience. So don’t think I’m shooting in the dark, I have hurt and been hurt. The understanding came and heavy heart faded when I accepted the truth and forgive myself.

What should I forgive myself for? A reasonable question, for letting it happen: falling, for believing the list goes on forever literally. We feel a certain responsibility for our pain, rightfully so i.e. nothing happens in a vacuum.

There are so many emotions involved in ‘loves’ pain, but most of them are coming from you. I’ll explain, we hold ourselves responsible for others actions, which is unfair but we do. Once we have decided it’s alright to forgive ourselves, that we are human and flawed. It becomes alright to finally let it go.

Forgiveness is within, forgive yourself it’s makes your bag so much more lighter!




2 responses to “Forgiveness

  1. You bring up some really interesting points. Not letting go of other people’s feelings and emotions have nothing to do with not forgiving them. It’s a misplaced emotion called responsibility. You feel like you let that person down, didn’t live up to the relationship’s expectations, maybe even you feel like you let yourself down and so now you feel “responsible”. Your pride is hurt, feelings hurt, and all you think about is what if. That has nothing to do with forgiving the other person. I agree that you have to forgive yourself. Let go of your part in the “break up”, the misunderstanding, or lack of communication. Forgive yourself for letting things go for as long as they did and not saying something or for accepting what you knew you shouldn’t have accepted, and then “dropping the ball” as we say. I don’t think that it is all that necessary to forgive the other person unless it is an extreme case. I mean, what did they really do to you except want to be with you and realized that you weren’t who you said you were?

    • Those are very thoughtful responses Kelly. I suppose the post is written from two potential perspectives of the argument. What is actually being said is to remember forgiveness is a solo journey. It has nothing to do with the other person. More of forgiving yourself for whatever and moving on. Thank you for reading and responding as always.

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