Hello Good People!
So the year is ending in three days and this is the last year of this decade. That looks even scarier in print *wink*.
Sounds rather fatalistic doesn’t it? As if you are waiting for the wind to blow, the ominous clouds to roll in and the clock to chime?
Well maybe it’s not all that serious, or maybe it is. It’s been ten years, what have you got to show for it. What trail of broken hearts stand next to your name? Who has broken your heart? How have you grown? Have you met your goals?
Perplexing questions for you to ponder alone and hopefully you have learned from the experiences.
Today after catching up with a friend and having several other thoughtful conversations. I had an Epiphany, actually can you really call it an Epiphany if it’s already happened but you didn’t follow the lesson?
I digress, back to the Epiphany – “you can’t control anything”
You can’t ever get everything you want. It is impossible. Luckily, there is another option: You can learn to control your mind, to step outside of this endless cycle of desire and aversion. You can learn not to want what you want, to recognize desires but not be controlled by them.
Profound in my opinion, and correlating right into this relationship stuff we discuss here. Most of our pains and difficulty come from trying to control: a person, goals, others actions, events etc. Why do we do this?
It’s simple because we believe our love should dictate a person in a way that gives us everything we want. Of course no one says this or will even admit it. But we secretly wish they would do what we want: call, text, visit, commit, acquiesce, fall in love with us…any of this sound familiar.
It’s pretty crazy when we consider what we are asking and we shouldn’t be surprised when we don’t get what we want. As the good buddhist said, we can never ever get what we want..all the time..that would be a dream and if your reading this blog your definitely awake.
So for the New ‘Love Year, I dare you to let go, don’t try to control it..