Negotiating the line

There is a very thin line of power in relationships. You tug, she/he tugs, you tug again. It’s not necessarily a battle to be won, but you have to toe the line, and keep it right in the middle.

The alternative could be disastrous for someone.  Everything in life is a power struggle, all of it is a game. I know that is unromantic and a little sad, but we are competitive beings. Why should it stop with our hearts, why should we loosen the power grip with our souls, allowing invaders in to possibly break us, why?

It’s a thin line we negotiate, stay open, enjoy the experience and have fun. But never let go of that line, never lose your whole self in another person, never relinquish all your power. Of course power is an allusion, especially when it comes to the heart.

I know! I ‘ve contradicted myself.

What I mean is, that when it comes to affairs of the heart, maintain your self-respect. That is the line you are constantly negotiating.  Be open, but always determine your worth don’t allow yourself to be compromised.

To love is to be open, but don’t be a fool. Don’t ignore those defining moments, pieces of information or cues. Please don’t, they could be the thing that saves you from you.

That is also the line we negotiate, openness vs. losing yourself.

I think? Maybe there is a time when it is alright to lose yourself, I think? But it shouldn’t feel like a loss, it should feel like an exchange, even a gift.

You should feel as though you have gained something or grown.

When people walk into our lives, we should open the door. It should be a choice not a result of some ill-fated action.

This is the line of power we negotiate. A friend of mine always speaks about reserving a little for yourself.

Initially, I wasn’t sure I agreed with this. I thought how could you grow, love, and learn without sharing it all.

I have come to realize, everyone doesn’t deserve all of you and maybe it’s not so bad to keep a little for yourself..

Food for thought:

You tell me..keep a little or put all out there?




4 responses to “Negotiating the line

  1. Keep a little for yourself of course! I think that in loving someone you open yourself up to a lot of things, but if you keep a little of you in reserve you will have something to fall back on “just in case”. I have learned that when you give someone your all it often goes unappreciated and taken for granted. To give all of you is a lot. Who deserves that much anyway? A man? A woman? What makes them so special that they get everything? Why do we feel like it has to be all or nothing? I’m not saying not to love someone wholeheartedly, but loving someone with everything is a bit much. Wouldn’t that be a little overbearing anyway? Besides, if you give the one you love everything … what is there to look forward to???

    • Hey Kelly..things that make you say humm for sure! You make some very intriguing arguments. Being a romantic-pragmatist a complete oxymoron in it self..i have to say that I agree with most of your argument. But the romantic in me beleives that little you keep reserving won’t save you from the heartbreak we are all secretly running from.

  2. I am of the school of thought that if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well…including relationships. I go in giving my all (maybe still naive in my 4 decades)…if I deem the person worth the effort. I mean, why bother, if not in it to win it? Granted: I have come to find out a few I thought were worth it proved themselves to be otherwise; but isn’t that part of the growth process? We learn what NOT to do, what to watch out for next time. Hopefully, each “journey”, as my partner calls it, prepares you for the real-deal…the “one”, the last journey. If I love, I love with all of me; I mean, if there is no potential for something worthwhile, I won’t bother. (I hope that didn’t sound bad. I’m very selective…but also very shy when it comes to approaching people I’m attracted to; I’ve lost out on a lot of opportunities that way I’m sure!!) I don’t believe in games…and my hope is always that I will get all of that person back. Does it always happen? No. Is it happening now…? I guess time will tell. (This was cathartic.)

    • I totally agree, nothing is worth doing to me unless I intend to do it correctly or to the best of my abilities. i don’t think it’s naive at all, I believe you can’t receive your blessings through a cracked door. So I swing mine wide open as well. Sometimes to my own default, but what’s the point if your not going to give your all, I’m sorta all or nothing that way as well. BTW it’s all a game, I know you may not like that and I don’t admittedly either but the human psyche demands challenges, variety and change. So although your intentions are pure, there is always a game running in the background..what do you think of that?

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