What kind of dater are you

So, I have been working on this post for a while, let me know what you think. Of course, I’m just a simple social anthropologist, an observer of life, someone just trying to make sense of the inconsistencies.

Impulse dater – This daters mantra is “if it feels good, do what you feel” They rarely ever see the train before it crashes. When it does crash, they barely notice because it was all about the experience anyway.
Control dater – Likes to plan every detail of everyday and moment. Doesn’t want to get hurt and will avoid the pitfalls at all cost, even if it means stepping away. This dater doesn’t like the unexpected and spontaneity of dating.
Needy dater – Oh, dear this poor dater can’t even help themselves. They are choc-full of needs and usually paired up with someone completely oblivious to them. This individual needs to spend a lot of time self-reflecting and staying present in their moment. Stop the over analyzing and realize that it’s dating and you have no control over any of it anyway.
Cautious dater – This smart girl takes things very slow, communicates everything and is guarded. You are aware of everything and constantly taking notes. You are not interested in diving of the cliff for love and not interested in someone doing this for you either. The person your seeing will have a long haul before they have any clue how you really feel. Here is a hint if this pragmatic soul is still seeing you, it’s probably a good sign..probably!

Throw caution to the wind dater – my favorite, you date as if tomorrow will end. Living each moment to the fullest. Fearless and unafraid to lose. According to my friend R.S. you would also be classified as a fool!

Aloof dater – clueless most of the time, planet oblivion, population one i.e you. You are the dater that seems to be completely unaware that you are dating. Probably on the verge of missing out on a good experience.

Playa, Playa dater – wants it all and likes to have options. Nothing wrong with this, except they usually never inform you that you are part of a roster.

the busy dater -aaaghh, the one most people complain about. “Only God is that busy…according Bren”! This dater you spend most of your dating life trying to figure out if they are selfish, not-interested or really that busy..yeah right! You make time for whatever you want.

self-indulgent dater – egotistical, self-involved, a selfish dater..simply put someone passing time until another warm body shows.

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8 responses to “What kind of dater are you

  1. Interesting breakdown of hating subsets! I see myself in a combination of them hmmm the enigma of dating in 2009 dam if you do dam if you don’t! Smh

  2. Wow, I like the breakdown of all this dater. I really think people have a little bit of every type of dater in them. What is the ultimate goal in dating? Is it to narrow it down to find “the one?” Who is to say that “the one,” is “THE ONE?” No matter how you look at it, sometimes we need options. Sometimes we need to be egotistical. Sometimes we need to be cautious. The reason why i say that is because we, as a people, don’t want to be alone. Humans are not meant to be alone. So being that we have to go through this dating thing, we should be diligent in who we ultimately want to SETTLE down with even if you are miserable, egotistical, methodical. We just hope that the person you end up with, feels the same about you as you do about them.

    • @ J Nyce..Well that’s a good question one that we all have asked ourselves over and over again.”how do you know the one is the one?” I don’t have the answer, not even married people have the answer. I would suggest you ask a couple that have been together for twenty years or more that appear to have passion. We should always exercise caution, “you set the standard for how you want to be treated”. Egotistical..you lost me with that one. But whatever works for you. What do you think about J Nyce’s comments…?

      Let’s keep this going

  3. What about the “willing to give my all” dater?? That one wasn’t included. I am the “cautious dater” to a point (55%)…with the exception that I want the person I’m with to know how I feel about them, and I will give my all (45%)….once I know it’s okay to do so. I communicate everything and can be very guarded_but usually only after I’m given a reason to be guarded. I am aware of everything and constantly taking notes…I will give all of me, until given a reason not to (i.e., deceived, not reciprocated, consistently taken for granted). But I’m sure yours was not an exhaustive list….a great one, but I am more than the one with which I could identify above. Sometimes I wish I were aloof and self-indulgent! The person I’m seeing is “busy 40%, aloof 20%, cautious 30%, and also a control dater 10%.” (What have I done?)

    • First Epicadventure, my sincerest apologies for not responding or posting your wise comments in a more timely manner. That was a long sentence “I know”. I have been a little caught up in “Loving her”. I am so happy to see your here on shelovesher and welcome exchanges always. Please subscribe and you will know, when I post, the minute it happens. As to your suggestion “willing to give my all” Dater. This person is very dangerous to themselves that is. I have been this person, actually I believe we expand and contract from this position through the duration of our relationships. At moments all are required and sometimes you literally have to pull back. Especially if your dating an “it’s all about me” person. But that is also the tricky oxymoron in the title, i.e. if your dating you probably shouldn’t be giving your all!

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